Friends- Sometimes it’s good to let go

The older you get the tougher it is to make friends. I’m not sure why that is but that’s what tends to happen. Because of this, many people hold on to old friendships that have run their course and may not be the most healthy for us.

For example, I made friends with someone because I thought she was lonely and would appreciate having someone to hang out with once in a while. (This is possibly the worst reason ever to start off a friendship. Looking back now, I’m like “What were you thinking?”) In public she was funny and quirky, not so much one on one.

We were friends for a while until I realized how incredibly negative she could be. Most everything was a stress-inducer for her, she always looked for the worst. She was also the epitome of an armchair critic, able to rip people apart in seconds while she did nothing much herself. I was always supportive of her hobbies and projects while she tore mine apart, the last straw was when I realized I didn’t need or want to hear her constant bitching, insulting everything including myself.

What she really needed was not a friend but a therapist and I didn’t want that role. There was a reason why she was so lonely and she needed to figure that out on her own. I in turn, realized that I can’t fix people and some people that could use a little help don’t always want to change. I also learned to hang out with people I really like and admire, they’re way more fun and leave me feeling good about myself. Isn’t that what friends are for?

Friendships, like people, change over time, not all of them are for life. The ones that are occasionally require work. Don’t keep active friendships with people that make you nuts or leave you feeling not good about yourself, life’s short and we need all the support we can get.

 

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